literature

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CARTOONS!

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Literature Text

Dr. Eggman
VS
Princess Celestia

BEGIN!

Eggman:


Well salutations, my dear Princess!

Would you care to take a seat and discuss my terms of conquest
of your planet?

For you see, it cannot offer much resistance.

Not against my Egg Armada, I could bombard you from a distance

before you got close enough to be a real threat.

If that were even possible! You remind me of the Soviet

with the way you treat your kind. Don’t pretend I don’t know

how you whined, begged, pleaded with the Hasbro CEO!

So they could push all the world saving on your precious student.

She’s an alicorn now; that doesn’t make her more fluent

in the ways of science! There is no circumstance

that could top my IQ of 300. Fat chance!


Celestia:

The only thing that's fat around here is your exterior.

It looks like a reflection of a fun house mirror!

If you’re as smart as you say, then trim that waistline!

There’s such an obvious difference between your figure and mine!

I’m surprised that tub of yours could lift that massive ego.

I also have a great sense of pride even though

I’m a princess. I’m surrounded by those whom I care about.

Mindless drones and cold steel are all you’ve got! No doubt

that’s the reason why you’ve let yourself go to such a waste.

What could have happened in your past to make you be so disgraced?

Please, use your intellect to create a better future.

If you love and tolerate, it would make you feel more secure.


Eggman:

More secure?! Ho ho ho! What a clever little joke!

How could love be more protective than this robot that can choke

the life force out of anything that it grabs?

Behold, my best creation, Metal Sonic, who has

a LIPS AI ROBOTNIK Chip which is handy

for getting out of rough situations, or better yet, to kick your fanny!

A Neo Super FX DSP Chip 5 link system

and a Next Risk Chip Series Model 3. Don’t you be dissen’

its 255 cc 4 Valve Organ Fusion Engine,

or its backup Tesla power coil of my own invention!

This is proof that of the pair of us, I am superior!

So kneel, you horse, before your new master!


Celestia:

How dare you insult me with such words, you fool.

It's been far too long since I've lost my cool.

For a bloated goat like you, I will make an exception.

You should consider yourself cursed to witness MY ASCENSION!

BEHOLD, THE POWER OF THE PRINCESS OF THE DAWN!

IN THE WAKE OF MY ANGER, YOU'RE NOTHING MORE THAN A PAWN!

A PITIFUL PAWN THAT STANDS BEFORE ITS QUEEN!

WATCH IN AWE AS I DESTROY YOUR ARMY OF MACHINES!

THERE WILL BE NOTHING LEFT BUT SCRAPS OF MELTED TIN,

JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED, YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR SIN!

Just kidding, you oaf, it wasn't more than a scandal.

Looks like you're ready for a meltdown, 'cause I'm too hot to handle.


WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!!
Whoo! Finally got off my backside to get this finished. Did some tweaking here and there, hopefully it wasn't diminished. Anyway, here's the new ERB for your pleasure. If you wanna see more, just send me a letter!
© 2015 - 2024 mickey16
Comments9
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Hetruio's avatar
Celestia destroyed Egghead.